Makin’ money and bread.
I bake my own bread and hang my laundry on the line, but also... I make my own money. And don't you dare mess with my cubs.
There is this interesting culture on social media right now of people telling you what to do. I love the social media reels that are funny or share helpful info. But the “you need to…” and the “let’s do this, ladies…” type of social media is just gross. Every time one of these scrolls past, my immediate reaction is, “Don’t tell me what to do.” Here is the moral of it… Advice is advice, it’s not actually what you should do in XYZ situation. So the mere idea of “you should” is just a marketing tactic, meaning someone is selling something. And we ain’t buying it!! We are badasses and not easily manipulated, right? Is that me telling you what to do? Sorry. Ok, back to the point.
This is such a weird time where we’re being fed either the hard-working CEO mom stuff or the trad-wife stuff. No in between. Which of course isn’t real because we see women do both ALL the time. But the internet is making you feel like you shouldn’t be doing both. Like it’s a disservice to your children if you work. (So what do we do in the meantime, be poor?!) So I’m stopping it now. You CAN and should do both, if you choose. Or don’t work, that’s totally acceptable too. Stay-at-home non-working moms are no better or worse or sideways, or up and down, or whatever, than a mom who works. So cut it the hell out, internet!
Here is the thing: I am super trad-y. I make sourdough bread, I hang my clothes on the line, I don’t do daycare, I ‘medium’ homeschool (preschool lol), I serve my family raw milk, I revert to my husband’s opinion before making any large decision, and just overall, super midwest housewife vibes. So, because I don’t want to tell you what to do, here are the things I tell myself daily:
I can make bread AND make money.
Nobody gets to define "provider" for me. I have life insurance, but I'm not betting my kids' future on a claim going through smoothly. Several income streams and a backup plan are essentials.
I'm the CEO of my life. Staying home doesn't mean I stopped having a plan. I have backups for everything.
THOUGHT PAUSE: My kiddo is just willy-nilly coloring in all of the summer reading spots right now… reason number 567 why I’m glad I’m not type A, this would drive that mom crazyyy. I’m allowing it. Ok, let’s keep going…I don't do CrossFit to look like a tradwife or a girlboss. I do it so I can outrun and outfight anyone who comes near my cubs. That's my ‘mom non-negotiable.’
I know where every dollar goes, income or no income. Financially checked-out isn't "trad," it's just not smart, and I refuse to hand that off to my husband because society says a certain kind of woman doesn't need to know.
I will not let ‘house-husband’ be a thing in my home. Might be touchy for some families. But for meeeee, even when our income ebbs and flows and sometimes I make more, and sometimes my husband makes more, it is never ever acceptable for my husband to not work. I could be making a million dollars, and his ass better still be working. (Might be a pet peeve of mine, if you can’t tell).
I'm teaching my kids to bake bread, can from the garden, AND watch me build something. They don't need me in either the kitchen or the office to learn something valuable; they need to see both.
If I hate my life, I change it. Simple. Don’t complain. If you hate it, change it.
My kids can stay home with me while I build an empire from my kitchen counter. That's not a contradiction, that's just a lack of imagination talking if you think it is.
No shade tradwives, you’re amazing. We all dream of being you. I would love to wake up and only have kids to think of, and going to the gym and playgroup and then making dinner and be done. But that’s not my reality, or most moms’ reality. Remember, ya’ll, it’s social media, it’s not real. There is stuff behind the post. Why is this a popular viral trend among young moms and landing on almost every mom’s algorithm… I’ll let you use your imagination.
Good vibes ✌️